30/3/10

You know that I'm a person of few words . I don't often say what is on my mind and even if I do , it usually doesn't come out quite right . But what I do not express verbally doesn't mean I don't feel it in my heart . I may not say I love you everyday as some do . I may not have empathized when you were crying out for understanding . And I may not have done the right things to make you feel loved . If you are going to judge me on these things alone , I know I have failed miserably . But if only you could look through my heart to see who it is beating for , you would know the depth of my love for you . My emotions may not show but a love that is mostly hidden like mine is always deep and eternal . My heart can accommodate no other apart from you and I know this is how it is going to be for the rest of my life . Expression-less I may be . Cold I may seem . But true love doesn't need to be shown . It resides in the heart just as how it resides deep in mine . And no matter the seasons that will come and go , it will be there withstanding the test of time . As I write this today , the words are hard to flow . It is not my nature to be expressive . But no matter what , I want you to know that you are loved and cherished . And I want you to know that I do care . My words will never be able to describe exactly how I feel so , let me end this with 3 simple words , straight from my heart I Love You . Okay Okay , thats all for today . bbye ciao ciao . XOXO .

20/3/10

I hate you . I hate you . Oh , how I do so hate you . My hate is pure . My hate is fierce. My hate is effervescent . I'm unable to explain why it fits this last adjective , but it does . I cannot deny how truly bubbly my hate for you is . If my hate had weight , it could be mistaken for a sumo wrestler . If my hate had sex , it would be the town slut . I hope by now it's become obvious how large and unwieldy my hate for you is . In fact , it's of such vast size as to be practically immeasurable . Or in other words , it is of measurable dimensions , but so big , so cumbersome that the time and effort required to measure it far exceeds the limits of my life . To finish , this will probably be the last post for you . I may write again , but fortunately my hate is very short lived . It's probably all the weight . that's all for today , goodnight . ciao ciao XOXO

12/3/10

After I have woken up , put my clothes on , and walked downstairs to boil the water for the milo . The things you said to me , during the night , still ring in my head and heart . While I put the kettle on , I'll think about you . Sometimes I daydream that I will be in the school class and you will run to the door , come up to me , and grab me , holding me close . You have a look in your eyes more fervent than the brightest lights . In front of everyone in the class , you come up to me and take my hand , leading me away . That's all you have to do , no words need to be spoken . We would walk out , just walk away from the problem that we had , the drudge of knowing that we are supposed to be together but can't be . So much of my life today I owe to you . Do you remember the first time we met ? The seasons spent with you taught me more about myself than I had ever thought possible. Despite a lifetime of secrets and lies , I learned how to tell you the truth about anything and everything . And I learned that you wanted to hear it . Sometimes it was hard and it's not easy to always tell someone the truth , even at risk of hurting their feelings . But it was so important to me to do so , to tell you everything , to let you IN , that once I started telling you everything in my heart , head , and hands I never looked back . Thank you for being the love of my life, my greatest passion, and my dearest friend. I miss you every day . And to be honest , I would give absolutely anything to have you back . Sometimes, when my fantasies about having you show back up get to be too much , I have to put my head down and take deep breaths , because the ache I have from missing you is impossible to swallow over . The grief that we are not in each other's daily lives too great . When that feeling passes , I am able to just smile a bit and be glad that I have a love like you , a moment in time that is enough to keep me going for the rest of my life . I will always love you , always :) okay okay thats all for today . ciao ciao .

11/3/10

hmm ,hi im aniq . today i woke up at 6.30 . then then , i go to school as usual . hmm , then then after finished schooling , i went to bayu (: i hang out with , ashree , fazrul , naqib petra and the others lah . eh eh , i love my friends (': haha , nvm nvm . okay okay thats all for today . ciao ciao . XOXO , iloveyou :D