27/2/10

i cant believe what you did . i want to close my eyes . i want to close my eyes . i want to close my eyes , and you just sit there with your friends , smiling ! you should be ashamed at your touch on me , i want to close my eyes . i want to fill the images of you with fire and blacken every thought of you with every ounce of bloodied stomach acid you made me swallow when you waltzed around and smiled like nothing mattered , when you graced me with a kiss you bitch i should have spit in your face and walked away and set that swing on fire so you'd know how it felt to be a few degrees hotter than you'd like with no way out except the rolling down asking for forgiveness . i should have been hateful , i should have been cruel . i want to close my eyes because you repulse me with every word that made me sweat and every move that filled me with love . i hope you grow fat like a hippo , grow old like your granny . i hope your life will be fulled of failure . i hope you never know a touch of happiness . i hope you end up miserable and alone then you'll know how you made me feel then you'll know why i hate you then you'll know what it feels like to kiss the person who has their foot on your throat then you'll know pain , hate , and loneliness , like you never wanted . and before i close my eyes i wanna see you crawl . okay okay , thats all for today bbye , ihateyou . ciao ciao

25/2/10

I told myself that God had forgotten me after a lifetime of pain and nights filled with loneliness she had no one for me to love just move on , it will be ok . And then I met you . I knew it was all wrong , but I looked into your beautiful eyes , and I let you in . Into my heart, into my friends , into my life .You gave me hope when I had none , a second chance . You took my hand and let me think about a life with a girl who would love me . Fantasy or foolishness ? this is what i get . It is so rare to find someone to connect with , someone to open up your heart to . When it finally , if ever , comes along , it should be cherished and prized . Love so sweet that the night , under the tree is not long enough for all the memoir's to be shared . I always said that after a lifetime of looking i would know her as soon as i met her . I would know she was the one . Hold on tight and don’t let her go. But then , You learned you were not free , to love , to share , to plan , to care . With each day you pulled farther away . My heart is now hard and filled with pain .You shut me out , pushed me away . This pain is just too much to bear . My heart aches for you . I’m begging , pls go away , i dont wanna see your face anymore , you're not going to be my ' battery ' anymore . When did I become this way? Why did I become this way ? Surely being alone is less painful than the humiliation of crying for a girl who doesn’t want me . Why God why ? Haven’t I cried enough in my lifetime ? What have i done ? so tomorrow is a new day . Springtime . The newness of the season . New beginnings . Just move on. It will be ok . Perhaps someday she will see that maybe I was the one that God sent to her . The guy for her to love , to cherish , to give her hope , to hold her hand . The guy who would never hurt her like the others before . Whose heart has known pain , and would never hurt this guy she loves . But life is all about choices . Let her go , Let her go , and cry for what could have been .Let her go , Let her go , and cry for what will never be . Let her go . Let her go . And be glad , not sad , for the short time we loved each other .

so , thats all for today . thnk you . bbye ihateyou . ciao ciao ciao .

14/2/10

hii , im aniq . happy chinese new year to my chinese friends . okay okay , this year and so on im not gonna celebrate valentines day . valentines day is haram for islam . today i went to sunway pyramid with ajoe , petra , syahrain , fawwaz , aboi , mole , and faris . and then , we pusing pusing sunway like stupid lah . dont know what to do . first first we plan wanna see movie , valentines day . then , mcm ramai orang so tak jadi ah . shit ! omgosh im sad . haha , nvm nvm . at least i can go out today . haha , okay okay , thats all for today . bbye . XOXO <3